Core Values: Humility Breeds Empathy

(Photo Credit: Glynn Lavender) One thing that is paramount when working as a therapist is building rapport and, therein, expressing empathy. How do I build rapport? How do I connect with my patients? Well, those were two examples. Ask questions. It's so crazy to think, but most of therapy is listening. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that I know it all, but from my personal experience, honesty, asking questions, and listening, solve and/or get me through the toughest challenges posed by my patients (in regard to helping them open up and.or building some rapport). Of course, working in psych there are times when the patients are past talking and physical and/or chemical restraints become necessary, but I'm more interested in all other circumstances. When it gets real. When a patient literally explodes my mind. I use honesty, reflective language, and active listening. "It's a lot. I mean, everything you've described is beyond heavy. I think you have every right to be upset and I think any person would feel similar if they had gone through this list of negative events." This quote is generic, but it's similar to statements I've made to suicidal patients after hearing a laundry list of events that would cause any human to be on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I try to always remain humble and I truly believe in my heart of hearts that it could happen to any of us. I've experienced the onset of road rage enough to know that it is very real. I've considered what I might feel and/or go through, god forbid, if something happened to the loved ones I hold dear. If tragedy strikes in a traumatic and soul shaking form we could all find ourselves in what could be clinically diagnosed as depression or a major depressive episode. Maybe, it's more difficult for me to pretend that I'm above it or to take that "It'll never happen to me," stance because I work in a place and happen to see the realities of how people are diagnosed and in turn how that diagnosis can shape their identity and future. I see firsthand what happens to people who suffer a severe accident at work and find themselves suddenly left behind by their worker's compensation benefits after 7 years because of factual minutia and legal loopholes. The system can be a truly disheartening thing and some people and families definitely get hit harder then others by accidents, diseases, and other traumatic events, but to sit back and think: "I'm middle class. I'm from the burbs. I've worked hard my whole life and I'm intelligent...it could never happen to me." I just don't see it. Even if it were true I would choose to try and remain humble and believe that it is a possibility. How can I be helpful to someone else if deep down I think I'm better than them or that I could never be in their shoes? Psych patients can sense that attitude like a dog senses evil, too. It's not always easy, but I will continue to strive to stay humble, treat others the way I wish to be treated, and attempt to be a force for positive change in the world. Sometimes, the psych ward feels like the front lines of a losing battle, but like my Rec. Therapist buddy Jermaine said: "We have to be the band in Titanic. We'll just keep on playing until the ship goes down."