Core Values: The Power of the Word

"Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love." - Don Miguel Ruiz (From The Four Agreements). Part of the power of song is the power of the word. The power of just one word, even. POSITIVE. A few years ago I made a conscious decision to try and remain positive on social media. No more snarky comments and sarcastic jokes that might be funny or might read really cold and mean in the context of flat, emotionless text. Even with a winky face or some emoji behind the words. I feel that this decision has not only changed how I view social media and the posts, comments, threads, etc., that I encounter on the web, but also how I engage with people in my daily life (you know, like when I have to go outside and stuff). Online, it's very easy to proofread a statement/comment/etc. (well, easy enough, but that's not to say that we always do it; by any stretch...). If you take the time, one can remain fairly thoughtful and positive with relative ease. In turn, by taking the time, I find that I am promoting an increase in the amount of thoughtful encounters I have with people online. For instance, if I'm reading an array of posts regarding gun control, mass shootings, politics, police brutality, race/ethnicity relations in the US and how they seem to be going backwards lately, etc., I might start to get worked up. Well, one option that I have in response is to type a huge rant. BUT even if I feel the need to do so, I can still stop and read it before I send it. If I actually get this far then nine times out of ten after reading it back to myself I just delete it. Through the act of typing it and reading it back, I often feel as though I have gotten it off of my chest. It's an exercise, not unlike something we may participate in during therapy. A group might write a quality of themselves or their relationship that each person individually wishes to rid him or herself of down on a slip of paper. This paper can then be read aloud (or not) and can be ceremoniously thrown into a trash can, ripped up, or even burned (I'm sure that's how a Hollywood therapist would do it). The act represents a symbol of the person's hopes, but attaching this physical aspect to the quality (the solid piece of paper in the hand with said quality written on it) to one's thoughts or hopes can add power to the memory and the desired emotion. Now, this online exercise can have a similar effect. Not unlike reading a positive affirmation aloud; the visible word or spoken word can add a dimension of reality to the act of speaking or typing the words. I see my rant, I state my rant aloud, and I gain perspective on what it says. I read and hear it back the way a stranger reading it might. This is drastically different then hearing it yelled through my finger tips and my keyboard as it originally flowed from my head. Now, I can take a step back and consider what this rant is really worth. Will it bring any help, joy, change, happiness, or ANYTHING POSITIVE to me or to ANYONE involved in or reading the thread? If it's a healthy debate and I stand to gain perspective or possibly help inform a friend or acquaintance then by all means, I can post it. Online, this sort of fruitful and open debate seems to be much more difficult to maintain then when people are physically present, however. There are indeed hundreds of Facebook jokes/memes about the futility of arguments about political or other "hot button," topics on the platform. We see these memes all the time. They come with little phrases at the end like: "SAID NO ONE EVER!" (the modern 'Syke!'). So...to return to this exercise where I have now expressed my rage; read it back; decided that it's not worth my time or energy to post it and read what the other angry commenters in the thread will respond with; and now a new option presents itself to me (I know, CLOSE YOUR LAPTOP AND GO OUTSIDE!). What I often end up doing is deciding to try and search some of the keywords or moving parts involved in the story and read articles to educate myself more about the topic. This serves two ends. One, I spare myself the grief of a circular argument with people I possibly love, but disagree with and/or people I barely know, or possibly don't know at all. Two, I am now more equipped to discuss the subject in actual social gatherings where human beings are physically present and the chance for a thoughtful debate/discussion is infinitely more possible. It remains much more difficult to maintain a positive and conscientious outlook at all times during a single day of one's life let alone throughout, but to PROMOTE increased positivity and self-awareness is the goal, right? Progress, not perfection, as they say. Still, I continue to find that the time I spend considering an attempt at remaining 100% positive online (which comes fairly naturally as a short consideration before each post or comment) is helping to train my brain to be more mindful of my words and actions and how they effect all of those around me (including myself) in daily life. It's certainly much more difficult to proofread your thoughts in the heat of everyday life (especially, if you still try to maintain some quick-wit and humor in social situations), but the fact remains that I feel it is helping me to practice self-awareness and to increase the quality of my social interactions both online and in physical reality. So...maybe try it out sometime. Let loose with the keyboard. Read it aloud. Consider the word. Erase it if you wish. Then seek more information from credible sources. Who knows, it might even help.